Last week, the Slate advice column, Dear Prudence, took a letter from a grumpy person whose circumstances are uncomfortably close to the average Georgetowner. He or she writes:
Dear Prudence,
I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?—Halloween for the 99 Percent
Extremely wealthy neighborhood? Check. “Modest” blocks with mere doctors and lawyers? Check. Billionaires and media moguls nearby? Check. Halloween destination for children from across the city? Check. This definitely could be a Georgetowner.
Although it definitely could not be. There are other extremely wealthy neighborhoods across the country that surely attract a diverse Halloween crowd.
Moreover, GM has never actually heard any Georgetowner express this feeling. Sure, some (really, plenty) don’t like to participate at all. They turn off the lights and huddle in the back of their house presumably counting their gold coins or whatever it is that Halloween-Scrooges do. But at least they’re equal opportunity party-poopers. To lament that your neighborhood doesn’t gate itself off on Halloween (particularly when they are plenty of atrocious gated communities ready to cater to your paranoid misanthropy) is way worse.
And really what problems stem from having kids come from across the city? You have to buy a couple extra bags of chocolate covered corn syrup? On the salary of a mere lawyer, doctor, and/or family business owner? What a hardship. Is it a vague fear of crime? Despite that being a racist fear, the reality is that the streets of Georgetown are never any safer than they are on Halloween night. There’s practically a cop at every intersection.
So, please let this not be a Georgetowner. But if it is, you have some serious growing up to do.
The Georgetown Metropolitan 
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